Abortion Protester: There’s nothing funny about murder!
Me: Unless you murder a clown.
That’s right, folks. You pro-lifers better brush off your snaps, ‘cause the evil court jester of the pro-choice movement is back in effect. Back to escorting at Planned Parenthood after a three year hiatus (I‘d cut all non anti-war related work after 9/11). I had forgotten what a surreal experience it is. During the slow periods, you stand around, drinking coffee, eating muffins and having casual conversation while on all sides there are people calling you a baby killer. After a few minutes you totally tune it out.
After the Saturday morning service let out of the Cathedral, a caravan of churchgoers walked to the clinic and held a prayer vigil. Our captain said we should get a head count, but we couldn’t be accurate from where we we’re standing, so I volunteered to go over to the fence and count them. Being a Catholic and a former member of that very church, I made a point of praying in unison with them as I walked over, so they knew they were being confronted by one of their own. There were 130 of them.
It really got weird when Angela Michael showed up. Angela is the Darth Vader of the bi-state pro-life movement. She has a show of local Christian radio and drives around in a tricked out “crisis pregnancy van” with a mobile clinic to give women pregnancy tests and ultrasounds. I shit you not. She has like, eight kids (maybe nine by the time I finish this). Her license plate says: PREGNUT. I‘ve heard stories about her for years but had never actually seen her. All of a sudden we were face to face.
Angela: What’s a black man doing here helping them kill babies? You should be out kicking the ball around.
Me: Yeah, we’re all natural athletes, right?
Angela: You’re a good-looking man; you should be out here with us.
Me: (winks, blows her a kiss) Maybe later. Call me on my cell.
It was all psychological warfare, but the fact remains… I was hit on by Angela Michael. How fucking creepy is that? She’s totally diabolical, but at this point, I almost like her. It’s like we’re Super-Man and she’s Lex Luthor. Where would the hero be without the archenemy?
Without fail, there will always be at least one woman just there to get birth control who simply can’t believe what’s going on, “who every thought you’d need an escort to get the pill?”
There’s always at least one person (usually a boyfriend or husband) who asks if the escorts are employees of the clinic. Their eyes get wide when we tell them we’re volunteers. “You mean you put up with this for free?”
A few years ago I had a chance to talk to one of the husbands while he was waiting. He and his wife had been separated and were trying to get back together. They had three kids already and she had gotten pregnant by another man while they were apart. The abortion was a pretty painful hurdle in their reconciliation. These are the stories that the people on the other side of the six foot steel fence don’t get to hear. Not that they would care.
After our shift was over I walked one of the escorts back to her car. One of the protesters followed us, “Excuse me, ma’am, did you have an abortion today?”
I turned around, and smiled at him, “ No. I did.”
After our shift was over I walked one of the escorts back to her car. One of the protesters followed us, Excuse me, maam, did you have an abortion today?
I turned around, and smiled at him, No. I did.
Now that would be a priceless photo!!! Good work!
Oh my goodness.
*kisses your feet*
You should clone yourself and be at every abortion clinic. You are awesome. Would you mind if I added you?
I wanna have fun too
hey, I have tried in the past to become an escort. I need a contact so I can take the class, now that I don’t have anything to do, and need a regular adreniline (sp) rush. Really, I want to help.
You rule.
Your amazing and completely hilarious!!!
Maybe she wasn’t hitting on you. Maybe she was just trying to lure you to the Dark Side.
Mind you, I might be persuaded to turn, if it were a pregnancy crisis tie fighter…
a pregnancy crisis van… i am SPEECHLESS. she clearly is lex luthor.
you really are amazing for escorting!
I’ve considered being an escort several times. I think it’s one of the first things I’ll do when I get to California or Ohio. I know in Cali, the closest Planned Parenthood is only a few miles away.
As always, you continue to amaze me with just how much you rock. *hugs*
Thank you… (blushing)
“*kisses your feet*
Wow, that’s a switch. (sorry, inside joke)
“You should clone yourself and be at every abortion clinic. You are awesome.”
Thank you, that’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.
“Would you mind if I added you?”
No, not at all. Welcome to the show…
I try. Thanks.
Yeah, in episode six we find out she’s really my mother.
Thank you.
Thanks, honey
Six foot steel fence, are you serious? We have NO fences around my clinic, but we’d really like to have one. Steel is probably beyond our budget, though. Wood would be fine.
And one of the anti ladies hit on me, too — and I’m a woman! “You’re so beautiful,” she said. I was like, “Thanks.” Then she goes: “Are you beautiful on the inside? Jesus wants you to be.”
I’m an escort in central Ohio. Drop me a line or something if you want to talk about where to go (and where to not even bother) 🙂
Truth be told it’s probably iron. You can see it in the background of the photo.
The whole flattery thing must be some tactic they’ve agreed on at a national conference.
Re: I wanna have fun too
Just call Planned Parenthood or NARAL.
I think a barbed wire fence would be nice, but I’m sure one of them would find a way to get injured on it and try to sue 🙂
Do you know anything about the Cleveland area?
Wow. That is amazing. I am actually just working on getting in touch with planned parenthood here to do some escorting but it might take awhile because it is such a crazy religious area (West Michigan) that I think they are very very careful about who the let do it. I just called them back (i remembered because of your post thanks!)… Anyways you seem like a cool guy mind if I add you??
Thanks. And feel free to add me.
I’ll take 100,000 prayer vigils over 1 screamer
Not that all the people out there wear t-shirts stating their denomination, but where do you think Catholics traditionally fall? The pro-life Catholics I know are definitely more likely to pray than hold signs and yell, so I assume most are “Prayers” not “Screamers” – but I guess I could be wrong.
It’s all in how you look at it.. I don’t agree with it, but if a person really thinks this is killing a child, “doing something” is a natural reaction – If I saw someone taking little kids in front of a firing squad – I would probably (at the least) yell a little. Scaring away women picking up their birth CONTROL is back-ass way to go about getting their point across though.
You are a really good man for doing what you’re doing. I just sympathize with the poor folks trying to match wits with you (they will loose) however, I’m guessing they think they’re doing the “right” thing too.
Re: I’ll take 100,000 prayer vigils over 1 screamer
I hate to generalize, but I’d say the majority of the problem people are more on the fundamentalist side. Catholics tend to be more mainstream and from I can glean, the people with the signs have a certain amount of contempt for the people who just pray. They think they’re not doing enough. To put it in slavery terms, the screamers see themselves as the field niggers and they see the prayers (prayors?) as house niggers.
Truth be told, I have no problem with the people who just pray. I wouldn’t pray with them if I did. Part of it is a little smart-assness on my part, but part of it is genuine solidarity. The older I get the more tolerant I get of the other side, be it abortion, or war or politics in general. I think anger is a good motivator, but as a tactic, it solves very little.
Sadly, no. I know there are clinics there, but that’s about it. Sorry :/
You Know You Are To Cool
When I read this particular entry, I turned to my mom, who remembers you from my 21st b-day party, and told her what you are doing. She said that is a very noble profession. I agree. I’ve had three abortions, and I’m not ashamed of that. One was because of Bill, the other Two were because of Troy. I don’t want kids at all, and I’ve had to depend on escorts to protect me form carzy religious motherfuckers. A good friend of mine had an abortion recently, and she could’ent wait to tell me, because she knew that I would’ent judge her, and that I would be proud of her for doing what she felt was best for her life. We both agreed that we had no feelings of regret, and that we felt relived that we were no longer pregnant. I swore so much at the protesters that they were afraid of me, all three times, but my friend was not so lucky. A protester actually grabbed my skull clad metal head friend, and said to her, ” I notice that you’re waring a lot of black clothing, and skull jewlery, it looks Satanic, I was wondering if you have certain beliefes?” My friend replied, “Bitch let go of me.” Then, after we talked about it, My friend said, “What a stupid fucking question, dosent everyone have Certain Beliefes?” I don’t like Fundies. Anyway, you are to cool, and you know it, Dave. by the way, Bill posted some ugly stuff about me on my LJ, could you spit on him again for me if you see him anytime in the near future? Rose.
Re: You Know You Are To Cool
Thank you very much. Tough job, but someone has to do it.
BTW, a couple years ago me and Archer started a St. Louis TNG chapter (a club for sex deviants). Bill tried to join and came to a meeting that I didn’t attend. We corresponded through the message boards, having no idea that we knew each other. Finally, something he wrote jogged my memory, and I wrote back, “hey, are you the guy that I spit on?” He never came to another meeting.
Yes
David, you are so fucking cool. Is Archer a LJ user? If he is, put him in touch with me, I know that he’s a Dominate, and that’s all I will say here.
Re: I’ll take 100,000 prayer vigils over 1 screamer
Funny, all of our crazies are Catholics, complete with red, white, and blue rosary beads. Ayup.
When I was pregnant they gave me a receiving blanket. It said “God loves me… mommy please love me too.” It was the ugliest thing EvAr.
They’ve also offered me “abortion counselling” because they know I’ve had an abortion. What they think a pro-lifer could do to soothe a woman who’s upset over her abortion, I’ve no clue. Not that I am upset, because I’m not, but if I were, I certainly wouldn’t go to people who think I’m a murderer for solace.
They’ve got this whole new movement of women who’ve had abortions who are now anti-abortion activists. Jennifer O’Neil, the actress from the 70’s, is their spokesperson. They carry these signs that say “I regret my abortion.”
They may have been trying to recruit you through their “counseling.”
We should have our own group. Maybe I’ll make one.
I never really thought about that. That’s a very good idea.
Re: Yes