Much More Mister Nice Guy

So last Wednesday I had a very good two hour phone call with The One. As we were saying our goodbyes, I said in passing how much happier I am because I know her. She asked my why, probably thinking I wouldn’t have an answer, but I did. I went on for five minutes about how she was the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, sweet woman I’d ever met.

 

The next morning it occurred to me that no matter what manner of stupid shit I do in the meantime, I will most likely marry this woman. That day at work I made a list of all the women I wanted to fuck and didn’t. The list came to 43. Then I eliminated all but the ones I really wanted to fuck and the number came to 22. When you subtract the ones that are married, in long term committed relationships or are otherwise out of my reach, the number falls to 9. Not bad considering I’m 33 years old. Another trend I’m noticing is that I met almost all of these women several years ago. The older I get the less I get all sprung over chicks, so the odds of meeting chicks I’m really into seems to be diminishing as time passes.

 

A few years ago, my mother asked me why I don’t settle down with one girl. I told her that thinking about being with one woman for the rest of my life made my head hurt. My mother, not the most humorous woman on the planet, broke into hysterical laugher. Only after she calmed down did she realize that I wasn’t joking. I meant it quite literally. But I’m starting to wrap my head around this whole monogamy thing.

 

Friday night I called her during intermission at Grease. I’m finding that any time I’m out alone, particularly on the weekends; I call her from wherever I am and talk to her the way I would if she were there with me. It’s kind of like dating a cell phone (we live in different cities).  

 

Last night I called her to tell her how she has ruined me and turned me into this nice guy and I can’t even think in the same asshole way that I used to without feeling silly. So I’m turning into a nice guy. There are worse things I can be.