Making Porn, Flirting with Transsexuals, and My Mother Part 2 of 3

 

Part Two: Making Porn

 

I keep looking for the new evilness, but perhaps it’s already here…

 

So   asked me to videotape this chick who wants to make porn. I said sure. I’d done this for him before and I figured it would be more of the same, videotaping some chick masturbating.

 

I get there and this couple shows up, Scott and Rusty. Now for a lot of people reading this, this is no big deal. You guys watch people have sex every odd numbered Thursday, but this was a new one on the kid. I’ve watched people have sex on four separate occasions. The first, when I was 14, was actually kinda traumatic. The last, about a year and a half ago was pretty fucking traumatic, come to think of it. But in all those cases it was people I knew.

 

Anyway, Scott and Rusty were several minutes into their scene, and I was busy concentrating on camera angels before it dawned on me that I was watching two strangers have sex. It had never happed before.

 

Scott: So how long have you been doing this?

Me: Doing what?

Draga: Filmmaking

Me: Oh, since I was 17.

Scott: REALLY!

Me: Well…yeah. I didn’t get serious until I was in my 20’s, but I’ve been playing around with it since I was in high-school.

Scott: Wow!

 

I didn’t understand Scott’s reaction until later in the day. Rusty kept going on about “the business this” and “the business that”, and by business she meant the porn industry. That’s when it hit me. When Draga said “filmmaking” Scott was thinking porn. So this is the first hardcore/male-female/penetration scene I’ve ever shot, and this guy thinks I’ve been making porno movies since I was 17!

 

From that point on, he keeps going on about how boring this must be for me. “Oh, you’ve seen this all before….oh, you must have seen this a dozen times.” When Rusty pulled her signature move and jerked him off into a wine glass, held the glass aloft as if making a toast, and then drank his cum, I’m thinking, “No I’ve never seen this before…”

 

It reminded me of a party at Draga’s when I introduced a friend of mine who was a porn star to this chick who was a theatre actress. Once they realized they were both “actors” they started talking shop, but neither of them knew where the other was coming from. I thought about explaining it to them, but it was funnier to let them figure it out. Anyway…

 

Scott asked me what I did when I wasn’t doing video stuff and I told him I was a travel agent. Right away he starts asking for tips on getting cheap airfare. I hate telling people I’m a travel agent because they always assume I know something about travel and start asking for advice. A few months ago I told AC that from now on when people asked me what I do I would tell them I’m a porno director to see if they start telling me about their desire to make porn. Of course in Scott’s case, this trick would have been useless.

 

So we shot for about an hour and a half: oral, anal, sex toys, bondage. I don’t know the protocol in these situations, so when I had to leave I shook hands with both of them and said goodbye. To this day I can’t remember if either of them had washed their hands at this point, but, oh well.

 

The best part of all these surreal experiences is the drive home afterward. You know that feeling you get when you’ve just seen some next level shit and then you leave it all  behind, get in your car and drive through the normal world and look at all the normal people and everything has the “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore” feel to it? Kinda like Madonna running out of the hotel in the final shots of Justify My Love

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13 Comments

  1. I was laughing my ass off SO much I almost passed out, got very light headed from the lack of O2 from laughing so damn hard. THIS is what you should base your ‘Stand Up’ conception on.
    Ok, now people have read this and there goes what little I had left of my reputaion. But it was worth a good laugh.

  2. When Rusty pulled her signature move and jerked in off into a wine glass, held the glass aloft as if making a toast, and then drank his cum, Im thinking, No Ive never seen this before
    That’s a hell of a signature move. All I can do is blink.

  3. Whoops…
    That should read: “When Rusty pulled her signature move and jerked him off into a wine glass”
    I hope that doesn’t ruin the story.

  4. Let’s check the videotape
    The condom comes off at frame 29:04:15
    The glass goes over his dick at frame 30:54:13
    There’s about seven seconds between the moment Scott comes and the moment Rusty raises the glass. The glass was in her hand before she jerked him off.
    Now I couldn’t see everything from my vantage point, but are you telling me that she sucked his dick, then picked up a used condom and put it back on, then jerked him off, then, in seven seconds, while holding the glass in her left hand took the condom off one handed, without spilling it?
    I don’t dispute that it was an apertif glass, but us straight guys call them wine glasses, sister.
    BTW: Who the fuck is Kimberly?

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