My friend Rexy is so funny, I had to give her a blog category of her own. She has graduated from “Shit Women Say To Me.”
The following conversation took place in bed:
Rexy: I want to take a box-cutter, peel your skin off and take it home with me.
Me: Um… why?
Rexy: Because I love the way your skin feels.
Me: Wow, most girls would have just said, “I love the way your skin feels.” But you led with the whole “box-cutter thing,” because you’re unique.
Twelve hours later, via text message:
Me: Have you seen the movie May? It made me think of you. I think you’ll love it. We have to watch this movie together!
Rexy: Never seen it. What’s it about?
Me: It’s about a mentally disturbed woman whose best friend is a doll. It’s the creepiest God-damned shit I’ve ever seen.
Rexy: I think I may be insulted now.
Me: Just trust me.
Rexy: Just watched the trailer for May. Two things: I’m bringing a scalpel when we watch it and you’d better bring a good explanation and/or bribe.