The Quarter Million Dollar a Year Plumber

Having been raised by a contractor who averaged an annual gross of about 50 grand a year in mid 80s dollars, I am inspired and encouraged that the owner of a small plumbing business in Ohio can take home a quarter million a year in net income. Our country is facing the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, the housing market has collapsed and the best economic news of the day is that gas prices have plummeted to their lowest levels since… 2007. Any plumber who can pull down 250K in this economy may be the man to bring us out of this horrible down turn and revive our economy. While Barack Obama jaw-jacks about hanging out with Warren Buffet, I think John McCain should announce that if elected he will make Joe the Plumber his Treasury Secretary.

Of course there is the distinct possibility that this is all fucking bullshit and John McCain is just trying to scare blue collar guys who would actually benefit from Obama’s tax plan in to voting Republican. Maybe, just maybe, The Quarter Million Dollar a Year Plumber is kicking it in a time share in Boca with Ronald Reagan‘s mink coat and diamond ring wearing Welfare Queen and the far right’s mythical Partial Birth Abortion Recipient who terminates her pregnancy in the third trimester because she wants to be bikini ready in time for her spring break trip to Daytona Beach. In fact, I think I went to a party at their place, Elvis Presley parked my car, Tupac was mixing the drinks and Bruce Lee catered.

Joe the Plumber is a real person, however. His name is Joe Wurzelbacher. Here’s a quote he gave to Fox News about his conversation with Obama:

"His answer actually scared me even more. Robin Hood stole from greedy rich people and redistributed it to the peasants, so to speak, so if he’s calling us peasants, I kind of resent that."

"So to speak." Wow, I’m glad that such a thoughtful member of the voting population was made the center of the last Presidential Debate. Which is it Joe? Are you scared that Obama is going to tax you more because he thinks you’re rich and greedy or that he’s condescending to you because he considers you a peasant? And how exactly is Obama’s statement that we "have to spread the wealth around" tantamount to calling the working class "peasants"? I’m pretty sure the Robin Hood metaphor was Joe’s, not Senator Obama‘s. If the plumbing thing doesn’t work out, I think Joe has a future in constructing straw men. Maybe he could get a job at the McCain campaign writing talking points about ACORN.