You are not closely connected to Mariska

Yeah, well no shit!

I found my ex girlfriend on Friendster.com and received the message in the subject line. It ‘s funny because I was thinking about her today, for the first time in  a long time and found her totally by accident.

She was a cyborg built by vulcans. A Nexus 2 (less human than human), but with a special upgrade that makes her exude disarmingly human emotions from time to time, so you can’t feel good about completely disregarding her feelings.

Her profile says she married, which should not bother me but it does. We were together for a year and technically I broke up with her, but she had started fucking this other guy and spending all her time with him and basically was just waiting for me to end it. I’m 99.999% sure that if she is in fact married, it’s to the guy she left me for. Women I date have a habit of meeting their husbands shortly before or shortly after we break up.

I was totally in love with her, but in her defense I have to say that a) I was seeing someone else the whole time we were together and b) in retrospect I can’t imagine still being with her.

The shitty part is that we don’t speak. She was this huge part of my life and now she’s vapor. Which sucks cause apart from being lovers we were really good friends and part of me would love to still know her but but I feel like I can’t. I had this weird almost mother/son relationship with her in my head for the first several months after we broke up. I felt like she was always watching me from some omnipotent position and judging me. I couldn’t rectify the image of her in my head with her in real life, so I just avoided her until I forgot about her. It’s my fault, cause I’m sure she’s pretty un-phased by the whole thing.

BONUS MATERIALS:

While she and I were still together, I gave her an antique perfume bottle full of my blood as a gift. I never asked for it back. What does one do with a bottle of their ex-boyfriend’s blood when they marry someone else?