I’m An Achievement Slut

I’m a normal heterosexual guy in a lot of ways. I like boobs and asses, and legs. I’m a sucker for a pretty face, pretty eyes and a nice smile.  I’m also a bit of a star fucker, but I don’t care fuck all about money or status. I’m a star fucker, but only because […]

My Klein Grid Score

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid I scored an average of 1.33     0 1 2 3 4 5 6 Heterosexual Bisexual Homosexual   Meaning This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale: 0 = exclusively heterosexual1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual3 = equally heterosexual and […]

Ass Forensics

Photo by Kholood Eid, for the Riverfront TimesThis picture was taken at the “No Pants Subway Ride St. Louis.” I had the following conversation with the woman in the picture and just had to share.  Me: I thought I recognized that ass. Her: David, did you recognize the legs next to me? I never realized he had […]

Confronting My Friend’s (Alleged) Rapist

A photo from SlutWalk STL. Hey what did you do last Wednesday? Me? Oh, not much. I went to work, wrote a post that went “Kinky & Popular” on Fetlife (the Fetlife equivalent of going viral). I went to see “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” And, oh yeah, somewhere in there I confronted the […]

2011: The Year of the Hater

It seems like my haters are coming out of the woodwork lately. But here’s the funny thing: they’re not coming out of the woodwork to hate on me. They’re coming to wish me a happy birthday, ask about attending parties that I’m hosting and even to give me free t-shirts. I’m discovering that maybe I […]

Monoga… Me?

For the first time in many, many years, I’m thinking about being monogamous. Don’t worry ladies; it’s not going to happen. Thinking about being monogamous for me is like contemplating suicide or the priesthood or becoming a certified yoga instructor. It’s nice to think about sometimes, but I know I’m never going to do it. […]

Treme Season Two

Television began as a live medium. It was designed to be ephemeral. This notion survived the invention of video tape and even the advent of the VCR. The last thing the networks wanted was to lose viewers because they missed an episode, so with the exception of soap operas, most television shows had plots that […]

Charlie Brennan is a Huge Douchebag.

Lots of people think that Charlie Brennan is a huge douchebag. But they raise a very important question: Is Charlie Brennan is a huge douchebag? See what I did there? Rather than make an ad hominem attack (Charlie Brennan is a huge douchebag), I phrased it as an opinion and rather than claim it as […]

Conversations with Rexy: I Want To Peel Your Skin Off

My friend Rexy is so funny, I had to give her a blog category of her own. She has graduated from “Shit Women Say To Me.” The following conversation took place in bed: Rexy: I want to take a box-cutter, peel your skin off and take it home with me. Me: Um… why? Rexy: Because I love the way […]

Shit Women Say To Me: Glad You Can Read My Subtext

Her: What’s this “you’re smarter than I expected,” “I like you more than I expected” stuff? Makes me wonder what exactly you were expecting!  Me: I thought you were dumb and that I’d hate you. Her: I appreciate your honesty. Speaking of dumb, can I peruse your book collection so that I can rectify my situation?  […]