Shit Women Say To Me: Glad You Can Read My Subtext

Her: What’s this “you’re smarter than I expected,” “I like you more than I expected” stuff? Makes me wonder what exactly you were expecting! 

Me: I thought you were dumb and that I’d hate you.

Her: I appreciate your honesty. Speaking of dumb, can I peruse your book collection so that I can rectify my situation? 

Me: Sure. If by “peruse” you mean “suck” and by “book collection” you mean “cock.”

Her: I’m glad you can read my subtext. 

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